Is a Destination Wedding Right for You?

First ask yourself why you are considering a destination wedding. Some of the more common motivations include:

• Logistics. With extended families so spread out, most every wedding involves some travel for the guests. Sometimes a "meet in the middle" destination wedding actually simplifies the process of bringing together two groups of family and friends.
• Wanting a personally significant location. Sometimes couples choose to share the place that they met, or a place of cultural/heritage significance, or a place that they particularly love, with their loved ones.
• The romance of travel. This is a large category with differnt kinds of people and different expectations. I planned a wedding on top of Mount Kilimanjaro for one particularly adventurous (and fit!) couple.
• A desire to save money. Destination weddings can be expensive, but with careful planning, a realistic budget, and a modest guest list, they don't have to be.
• A desire for a non-traditional wedding. Destination weddings often appeal to couples who are not drawn to the traditional wedding model. These couples fit very nicely with what has been called, "the generational quest for individuality." They want their weddings to be memorable, and most of all to reflect their own personalities and uniqueness.
• A need to escape. I've planned a few estination weddings for couples who began on a more traditional path. One bride called when she realized her budget was approaching six figures, 100 hundred invitations were addressed to people she did not even know, and everyone from her dentist to her next-door neighbor were offering her advice. This is how her call began: "Help!"

You can probably relate to one or more of these motivations if you are considering a destination wedding. But how do you know if a wedding far from home is really right for you? I'm sure that you'll agree that one couple's fantasy ideal can be another couple's nightmare. In fact, depending on your situation, personality, temperment, and style, most anything can be seen in positive or negative terms.

Below is an outline of a few common aspects of destination weddings. As you consider them together, do your eyes light up and your imaginations run wild, or do your palms sweat and you're gripped with a sudden urge to say, "Honey, can we talk about this later?"

A destination wedding promises a memorable experience. You don't mind facing the unexpected, and unforgettable is just what you're looking for, or...you'd rather control evey aspect of the experience rather than risk the "wrong kind" of memorable!

A destination wedding is often a longer celebration, lasting a few days. When will this group be together again? You love the notion of spending some time together! Or you may feel that one day is plenty for the "group portion" of the festivities.

A destination wedding typically involves fewer guests. You are either OK with the notion of having only your closest family and friends, or you won't feel like it's really a wedding without your fourth grade bus driver or second cousin to share the fun with.

Becasue of the element of travel, a destination wedding typically is more challenging to plan. You see the difficulties of planning as a fair price to pay for a one-in-a-lifetime adventure, or your focus is already beyond the wedding; you'd prefer a simple ceremony and less hassle.

This list is offered as a springboard to conversation as a couple. First and foremost, you need to consider your own priorities. I always suggest that after you ask each other some of the questions above, you should also ask the really important people in your lives - the "must haves" on your prospective guest list - whether they would be agreeable to the idea of a destination wedding. Would any of them find travel impossible?

If you are still reading, and you haven't ruled out a destination wedding for one reason or another, it might be the right choice for you. It is true that destination weddings are more complicated to plan than weddings at home, but there are resources - wedding planners, the Internet, books and magazines - that can help you. Through all of the destination weddings that I have planned, and have been honored to participate in, I must say that I have been more struck by their richness than their complexity. There is something magical about them. What is at the heart of a destination wedding is an absolutely unique opportunity for the guests to get to know each other. Is it the travel, or the context of the celebration away from home and everyday life that makes a destination wedding so memorable? Perhaps it is the combination, a wonderful mix of a special group of people sharing an adventure of a lifetime.

I hope that I have given you some food for thought in choosing whether of not to have a destination wedding. And if your do choose one, I hop that it meets and excedes your dreams.

Found in Capital Region Living Magazine.