Mini-mites welcome:

And whichever way you choose, tips for doing it right...

For some couples, deciding whether or not to invite kids to the wedding is not an easy, slam-dunk kind of question. Kids certainly add an air of "unpredictability" to a wedding, But as we all know...unpredictability can go any number of ways. If you are on the fence about whether to include kids or have a strictly adults-only event: read on. Or, worse yet, if you and your fiance are on opposite sides of the fence on this issue: read on. These are some points to consider, which will hopefully help you make the right decision.

• Let's face it: kids add a festive, all-inclusive air to celebrations. They can serve as emotional reminders that this (the wedding) is what it life all about: the start of a new family.
• As free spirits, kids can add wonderful (again, sometimes unpredictable!) and endearing moments to your ceremony and celebration. It is hard to resist a lovely young flower girl walking, skipping, or marching up the aisle. Children also have a wonderful way of linking generations, and bringing guests together.
• Inviting kids can make the difference between whether some of your guests can attend or not, especially if they are traveling from far away. If you haven't seen some of your guests (and their kids) in a while, the wedding may be your only chance to meet or spend time with their kids.

Grown-ups only:

• Your image of a formal, elegant wedding just doesn't jive with the image of kids running around or possibly screaming or in possibly disturbing the setting and mood in any way.
• While you and your fiance are close to a few kids, you can't possibly invite all of the children that belong to your guests, so why pick and choose and possibly offend some parents? It might be easier, and more politic to not include kids at all.
• Your wedding budget is already bloated beyond what you hoped; not inviting kids could keep those numbers down.

If you do decide to invite children, consider the following tips:

• Arrange for childcare. You may want to hire several local teenagers to keep your youngest guests happy and entertained. Kids enjoy their own "pied piper" at a celebration, and your (parent) guests will enjoy themselves even more when they see their kids having a good time.
• Arrange for a special area(s) and activities for the kids. The kids don't necessarily have to hang out in those areas (certain rooms, or tables with crayons and kid-friendly amusements), but they will enjoy the option.

If you decide not to include children:

• Be specific in addressing your invitations to individuals and not to families.
• Offer childcare options and suggestions to guests with children.
• Stick to your decision, and thank guests who ask for respecting your wishes. You can always blame your decision on budgetary constraints, and thank them for understanding.