One of the very first steps to planning ANY wedding is deciding on a realistic budget. The average wedding in the United States is attended by 175 guests and costs an average of $28,000. A wedding in a “destination” such at Newport, RI, will drive that figure up to $40,000 easily and in a metropolitan area such as New York City the budget soars to 100k. And more if you let it.

If you are paying for your own wedding, which is most common today, it will probably be the third most costly investment you will make. Raising children is the most expensive endeavor and buying a home the second. When a couple decides to buy a house or a car they have to prove they can afford to buy them. Wedding vendors especially international ones do not check a couple’s credit or inquire about their income before contracting with them. Also, unlike most large investments, weddings have to be paid for within a year or sometimes less.

For these reasons, I cannot stress enough the importance of a budget. I tell my clients they have to make themselves sit down with or without their parents to figure out what they have to spend on the wedding. This will empower you when you meet with vendors, and it is the only way to protect yourself from financial ruin. I was recently interviewed on Inside Edition along with a couple who went bankrupt, which lead to their eventual divorce all because they did not have a wedding budget. Don’t let it happen to you.

If you are on a tight budget you will have to be crafty and find creative ways to save money anyway you can without sacrificing what is important to you. I could write an entire book on the many ways you can save money planning a wedding, but here I will only be able to share the top five rules to overall savings.

Rule #1: Figure Out Your Priorities

The first step to cutting costs is to figure out what your priorities are. What is most important to you and your intended? The destination? The guests? The location? The flowers? The music? The food? The photos? The ceremony? It could be anything from the invitations to the dress. That is where you put most of your money. You cut corners everywhere else so you can have what is really important to you.

Rule # 2: Keep Your Guest List to a Minimum

Remember numbers mean money. If you are an average American couple inviting 175 guests, you are spending $160 per guest. Keep that in mind when you are trying to decide whether you want to invite your elementary school bus driver or your 10th cousin or all your co-workers.

If you love elegance, gourmet food, haute couture, and white-glove-service but your budget screams the firehouse hall, you may want to invite a very intimate group to enjoy the luxuries you love in an over-the-top fashion.

On the other hand, if the people are your most valuable resource, invite them all and serve them a pig roast on colorful paper plates!

Rule #3: Decide on an Appropriate Style

Obviously, elegant, traditional weddings are more expensive unless you keep the numbers way down. If you cannot afford a mansion, plan on a country inn. Don’t choose a black tie affair if you plan to use plastic chairs and paper plates.

The nice thing about destination weddings is that really anything goes. When you are all on vacation it does not matter what day of the week you get married and nobody will glance sideways if you have your wedding on Wednesday. The modern laissez faire attitude gives couples the flexibility to do what they need to do to save, if they have to. A perfect example of this is in choosing the invitations. I have seen everything from store bought, hand-written cards, to e-invites, to CD’s, to hand-made cards and of course the custom-designed, printed, engraved and embossed cards. Computers and desktop publishing have given us so many moneysaving options.

Rule # 4: Figure Out What Resources You Have

The next step to saving money is to consider your resources. Do you have property in the family that could be used for the ceremony or reception? That alone could save you from $200 to $10,000! Look at your guest list. Who on that list can sing or play an instrument for the ceremony and save you as much as $600? Who is artistic and able to help create the stationary and save as much as $3,000 in design fees and another $3000 in printing? Is anyone a photographer that could save you as much at $5,000? Is anyone good at arranging flowers or sewing? Your friends and relatives could help you create the most memorable wedding at little cost if you let them. What better gift?

The only thing to consider when calling on loved ones is you should be careful not to make any one-guest work so much that they cannot enjoy the event.

Rule #5: Be Informed

Get informed about the wedding destination. You need to find out what your resources are, what options you have and what service providers are the best and most affordable to you. You can get this information from reading voraciously, researching websites or talking to the chamber of commerce, the tourism bureau, or consulting with a wedding or travel professional. When I got married, wedding consultants were not readily available so I spent hours calling service providers in the yellow pages to compare services and prices. If you do not have time to properly inform yourself I highly recommend consulting with an expert who will save you time, money, and disappointment in the long run. I am not suggesting that you should hire someone to plan your wedding if you cannot afford it. I am suggesting that an investment in a one-time consultation should set you up with all the knowledge you need specific to your wedding and your region. When I consult couples who want to plan their own weddings I give them all the information they need to plan it themselves including service providers and locations I think they will like as well as budget and planning guidance. It will save you valuable time and money and prevent mistakes. This can cost as little as $150. In my opinion this is much more pertinent than buying a couple of national bridal magazine subscriptions and a slue of general wedding books. Be sure to check with the wedding venue because they may be offering planning assistance or may know of a local wedding coordinator who can help you make good decisions and who can be your advocate for a nominal fee. If a couple cannot afford to hire me to do all of the planning and coordinating I refer them to a local guide, escort or wedding planner who can coordinate the guests and the wedding.